Monday, July 25, 2016


How to make 1-on-1- time with 3 kids (By Grandma Jeddah)

.  How to make 1-on-1- time with 3 kids

Excerpt from-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most
Challenging Discipline Problems

I have 3 boys, and I’m homeschooling them, so I’m finding it hard to give them 1-on-1 time. How do I find time to give each one the personal time he needs?

May Allah reward you for seeking ways to spend more personal time with your sons. Spending quality as well as quantity time with your children is important for their proper development.

Take comfort in knowing that by homeschooling your boys, you give them 1-on-1 attention, even if you don’t realize it. When teaching your soon to be 6-year-old how to write his letters, much of the practice involves your holding and guiding his hand, close-up contact with him, and continuous verbal direction and reinforcement. The same goes for when you’re helping your 3-year-old put his puzzles together. Even though you may be teaching them at the same time and nursing the littlest one, they are still getting personal attention from you.

Pat yourself on the back that you have chosen homeschooling as a method of teaching your sons. It is an educational method that allows them to have frequent contact and interaction with you. These crucial developmental years cannot be replaced once your sons have aged beyond them. And you are providing your kids with optimum attention from you as they move through this growth period.

The following suggestions are probably more closely related to what you are seeking in your question. One way of spending more 1-on-1 time with individual children is by making dates with them. Once a week you can schedule an outing with each child. Have Dad watch the other two while you go on a 30 to 45 minute outing with one of the boys. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. How about a visit to the park to play on the swings and slide for a few minutes? You can take a trip to the market with one of your sons to pick up some items for dinner. Be sure to let him pick out something special for himself and the other two siblings back at home. He’ll feel important for doing it. A walk around the corner can add up to 1-on-1 time together, as well.

The thing to remember with whatever outing you choose is to conversate with your child on the way to and back from your excursions. Talk about him, you, Allah, what you see on the way, whatever comes to your mind. Use that as a time to answer all of his back-to-back questions, with no frustration in your tone, only concern for your time together.

You can also use periods of activity at home to your advantage. During bath time, use those 5 to 10 minutes to smile, laugh, joke and play with one child at a time. Splash the water; let him feel with his fingers the extremes between warm and cold water; let the warm water rush down his back. Talk to him about which story he wants you to read to him after he’s slipped on his pajamas. Use your imagination for conversation and interaction ideas.

How about when you’re washing dishes? Let them take turns each day sitting on the counter to talk with you while you wash. What about when you’re baking a cake? Let one stir while the other counts to 10, then exchange their positions.

Play with them in turn. Play pony back ride. Get on your knees and ride each one to the other end of the room and back. Then let another child have a turn.

During story time at bedtime, have your kids take turns sitting on your lap for their story to be read. Or if only one story is read per night, let them take turns each night sitting on your lap.
Spending one-on-one needn’t amount to large blocks of time. Short spurts of 1-on-1 attention can be productive, as well.

I wouldn’t be too concerned about neglecting to give your sons 1-on-1 attention. The fact that you’re homeschooling them as well as seeking out ways to become a better parent show you’re doing a great job at trying to fulfill your sons’ needs, and Allahu Alim.


May Allah bless you to raise all your children up as good Muslims and bless your children to be blessings for you and your family in this world and the hereafter. 



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Mother can’t stick with respectful discipline (By Grandma Jeddah)

Mother can’t stick with respectful discipline

Excerpt from-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most
Challenging Discipline Problems

I’ve been reading your book Discipline without Disrespecting. I try to put into practice some of your suggestions, but then I keep going back to the way I’m used to disciplining my kids. How do I get myself to be consistent with your methods?

Don’t stress too much over not maintaining a positive approach. Simply do the best you can and never give up. It took me years to make my new parenting habits second nature. It
takes a lot of patience to maintain composure when your child is doing something that upsets you. Remember that patience is something that is developed over time. Ask Allah to bless you with patience, without difficulty or trial. And read Quran regularly—Allah mentions often in the Quran the reward of being patient. Also, continue reading parenting resources on how to discipline more effectively. This will keep you motivated and focused, insha’Allah


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Is Your Child Being Bullied at School? By Grandma Jeddah

Excerpt from-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most
Challenging Discipline Problems

6-year-old son bullied at school


Some of the children at my son’s school are bullying him and I don’t know how to handle it. I told him yesterday that we will go for a haircut today and he vehemently protested, almost to the point of tears. So I sat him down and asked why he didn’t want his hair cut. His first reason was that it made him feel cold especially after making wudu. His second was that some boys—4 of them—chased him and hit him on the head. They refuse to stop when he asks them to and then they laugh when he cries. I felt sorry for him but what to do? How to handle it? I thought of either telling their mothers or their teachers but that might just make the situation worse for him.
I’m sorry to hear about the problem you are having with your son being bullied. No one wants to know that their child is being mistreated. Hearing this from your son can be distressing. May Allah reward you for seeking out positive ways of trying to handle what your son is experiencing. May Allah guide you to the best solutions and resolve the problem for you.
Commend your son for coming to you with his problem. You want him to continue confiding in you with his problems as he gets older. This will allow you to develop an amicable and constructive relationship with him that will be extremely beneficial during his adolescent and teen years, insha’Allah.  Listen with concern, and understanding.  Be supportive. Avoid overreacting, as this can cause your son to become hesitant in confiding in you in the future. It seems from your letter that you are responding to your son’s problem in a constructive manner.
Here are several suggestions to help your son with bullying:
First, let your son’s teacher know about what your child is telling you. Your concern that the bullying may get worse is a legitimate one. However, making the teacher aware is still preferable for several reasons. First, you can find out if there is another side to the story. This is not to imply that your son is not telling the truth. Perhaps the children start out playing and then end up becoming to rough or some other scenario exists that isn’t clearly bullying behavior.  Or, the situation could simply be just as your son described. If the teacher is aware of the situation and has observed interactions between your son and the other boys, this will give you a more in depth understanding regarding the bullying situation, thus, lead you to ways of dealing with your son’s problem.
Second, if the teacher is unaware of the bullying, then your informing her can help eliminate or at least minimize the bullying. Once the teacher has been informed of the problem, she can then implement strategies to resolve the problem.


After informing the teacher, periodically ask your son how things are going at school in an attempt to elicit information about the bullying. In a casual way you can even ask him if the boys are still bullying him. If it is continuing, speak with the teacher again. If this brings little change, talk with the principal. Inform him that you talked to the teacher about your son’s bullying problem, but it’s still continuing and what should you do now.
There are also a few things you can do to help your son self-manage the bullying behavior to some degree, insha’Allah.
Teach him how to be assertive. When his school mates hit him, tell him to speak firmly and loudly “Stop! I don’t like that.” or “I’m not playing anymore.” Or “No, stop that!” You can have coaching sessions at home in which you role play the bully and bullied, teaching your son words and phrases to use when he is being bullied.
Also tell him it’s OK and even encouraged to tell authority figures at school about his being teased or hit. Tell him to inform his teacher, the yard-duty aid, or whichever adult can take care of the situation. It’s harder to be a bully when you’re being observed by school personnel.
Remind your son to avoid playing with or being around the boys that are bullying him. Encourage him to find friends he can be with who don’t treat him mean. Encourage him to stay with these friends at recess or after school. Bullies are less likely to bully when their intended victim is in a group.
Another helpful thing you can do is enroll your son in martial arts. Knowing self defense techniques can help build self-esteem which can help your son carry himself in a more assertive and confident manner. In addition, it can give him the skills he needs to fight back, if needed.

Also, if not cutting your son’s hair will help eliminate him from appearing different around his pears that are bullying, then you might opt out of giving him a haircut. Sometimes bullies pick on children that are different. Not all children can change their “differences.” But some differences can be changed or avoided. Where to draw the line on conceding to conforming behavior is a personal decision.

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-Pearls-For-Your-Most-Challenging-Discipline-Problems-136.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html

Excerpt from-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most
Challenging Discipline Problems

6-year-old son bullied at school


Some of the children at my son’s school are bullying him and I don’t know how to handle it. I told him yesterday that we will go for a haircut today and he vehemently protested, almost to the point of tears. So I sat him down and asked why he didn’t want his hair cut. His first reason was that it made him feel cold especially after making wudu. His second was that some boys—4 of them—chased him and hit him on the head. They refuse to stop when he asks them to and then they laugh when he cries. I felt sorry for him but what to do? How to handle it? I thought of either telling their mothers or their teachers but that might just make the situation worse for him.
I’m sorry to hear about the problem you are having with your son being bullied. No one wants to know that their child is being mistreated. Hearing this from your son can be distressing. May Allah reward you for seeking out positive ways of trying to handle what your son is experiencing. May Allah guide you to the best solutions and resolve the problem for you.
Commend your son for coming to you with his problem. You want him to continue confiding in you with his problems as he gets older. This will allow you to develop an amicable and constructive relationship with him that will be extremely beneficial during his adolescent and teen years, insha’Allah.  Listen with concern, and understanding.  Be supportive. Avoid overreacting, as this can cause your son to become hesitant in confiding in you in the future. It seems from your letter that you are responding to your son’s problem in a constructive manner.
Here are several suggestions to help your son with bullying:
First, let your son’s teacher know about what your child is telling you. Your concern that the bullying may get worse is a legitimate one. However, making the teacher aware is still preferable for several reasons. First, you can find out if there is another side to the story. This is not to imply that your son is not telling the truth. Perhaps the children start out playing and then end up becoming to rough or some other scenario exists that isn’t clearly bullying behavior.  Or, the situation could simply be just as your son described. If the teacher is aware of the situation and has observed interactions between your son and the other boys, this will give you a more in depth understanding regarding the bullying situation, thus, lead you to ways of dealing with your son’s problem.
Second, if the teacher is unaware of the bullying, then your informing her can help eliminate or at least minimize the bullying. Once the teacher has been informed of the problem, she can then implement strategies to resolve the problem.


After informing the teacher, periodically ask your son how things are going at school in an attempt to elicit information about the bullying. In a casual way you can even ask him if the boys are still bullying him. If it is continuing, speak with the teacher again. If this brings little change, talk with the principal. Inform him that you talked to the teacher about your son’s bullying problem, but it’s still continuing and what should you do now.
There are also a few things you can do to help your son self-manage the bullying behavior to some degree, insha’Allah.
Teach him how to be assertive. When his school mates hit him, tell him to speak firmly and loudly “Stop! I don’t like that.” or “I’m not playing anymore.” Or “No, stop that!” You can have coaching sessions at home in which you role play the bully and bullied, teaching your son words and phrases to use when he is being bullied.
Also tell him it’s OK and even encouraged to tell authority figures at school about his being teased or hit. Tell him to inform his teacher, the yard-duty aid, or whichever adult can take care of the situation. It’s harder to be a bully when you’re being observed by school personnel.
Remind your son to avoid playing with or being around the boys that are bullying him. Encourage him to find friends he can be with who don’t treat him mean. Encourage him to stay with these friends at recess or after school. Bullies are less likely to bully when their intended victim is in a group.
Another helpful thing you can do is enroll your son in martial arts. Knowing self defense techniques can help build self-esteem which can help your son carry himself in a more assertive and confident manner. In addition, it can give him the skills he needs to fight back, if needed.

Also, if not cutting your son’s hair will help eliminate him from appearing different around his pears that are bullying, then you might opt out of giving him a haircut. Sometimes bullies pick on children that are different. Not all children can change their “differences.” But some differences can be changed or avoided. Where to draw the line on conceding to conforming behavior is a personal decision.

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-Pearls-For-Your-Most-Challenging-Discipline-Problems-136.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html

Be a Very Good Muslim to Your Children (By Grandma Jeddah)

Be a Very Good Muslim to Your Children

Narrated Abu Musa “Some people asked Allah’s Apostle, “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (who is a very good Muslim?”He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands. (Bukhari)

https://islamiclifestylemagazine.wordpress.com/2013/04/05/be-a-very-good-muslim-to-your-children-by-grandma-jeddah/

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Grandma Jeddah has something for you


Free Helpful Guides Mailed to Your Home 

If you live in California, Grandma Jeddah will mail you free courtesy copies of legal guides for your newly adult children or your elderly parents. You can order The California Bar Association's guide, "When You Turn 18: A Survival Guide for Teenagers" or The National Institute of Aging's guide "Seniors and the Law:A Guide for Maturing Californians". To receive your courtesy copy, please leave your contact information in Grandma Jeddah's email: CourtFormHelp@gmail.com

We are not attorneys and do not provide legal advice.We are a low-cost legal form preparation service.


R.M. Quarels, LDA
R.M.Quarels Legal Form Help
legal document preparation service
Tel: (323) 900-9837