Friday, August 26, 2016

A Special Gift for a Special Person (From: Grandma Jeddah)

Bismillah Arahman Araheem 


Abdullah ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.


It is narrated on the authority of Anas (r) that a woman, somewhat mentally defected, said,” O Messenger of Allah! I have a need that I want you to meet. He (s) responded, “O mother of so and so, choose the way you like to walk in so that I may know your need and meet it.” He walked with her in some route until she had her need fulfilled (Muslim).


Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu,


This is Grandma JeddahAre you a parent raising a child with special needs or disabilities? It can certainly be a struggle. And once your child reaches adulthood, there are a host of other challenges that a parent must manage. You must tend to your adult child’s medical matters, financial matters, as well as the day-to-day management of your child and her disability.

Although we are Muslims and have the best way of life, sometimes the ostracism that disabled Muslim adults feel and experience can lead to a host of emotional and psychological problems—mental illness being one. Your adult child may also become incapacitated due to illness or medical treatment.  For these reasons, you, as well as your adult child with a disability, may wish for you to remain in control of your child’s medical and financial matters.


Creating a Financial or Medical Power of Attorney allows your adult child to choose someone else to act in your child’s place in case she becomes incapacitated due to mental illness, a medical illness, hospitalization, or some other situation. This “agent”—preferably you, the parent” can make financial and medical decisions for your adult child that by law only the adult child herself would be able to make. A Power of Attorney would prevent you from having to go to court to get the authority to handle your adult child’s affairs if the situation ever occurred in which you needed to. It would allow you to pay their bills, manage their bank account, decide on their medical treatment and other personal matters freely.  It is very much like a Conservatorship, but avoids your having to go to court, pay expensive court fees, and attend mandatory court accountability hearings.


Recently I received my American Bar Association approved paralegal certificate from West Los Angeles College. As you already may know, I have also taught at Al-Madinah School in Los Angeles for over 30 years. In addition, I have authored several Islamic parenting e-books, in particular one on raising children with special needs, Your Challenging Muslim Child with Special Needs


If you live in California, Grandma Jeddah can assist your Adult child in creating a FREE Durable Financial Power of Attorney form as well as a FREE Health Care Directive all online. I specialize in helping caregivers of adult children with disabilities and elderly parents who need assistance. I also assist in writing Islamic Last Wills. All of this is Free for members who have subscribed to Grandma Jeddah's Newsletter, Blog and Face book account.


If you should need a service such as mine, please don’t hesitate contacting me.  You may visit my website at-- LegalFormHelp.weebly.com, and view my blog there for more detailed information on Power of Attorney. I also have free legal literature that I would be most happy to mail you to inform your adult child or elderly parents of laws that may affect their lives. The guides are The California Bar Association’s “When You Turn 18”, “Seniors and the Law”, and The National Institute of Aging’s guide “Caring for a Person with Alzheimer’s Disease”. If you would like one of these guides, please feel free to contact me. The first two are available in Spanish, as well.


Jazakalakhair for continuing to visit my Blog, Facebook and reading my newsletters.


Your Sister in Islam
Grandma Jeddah (AKA): Sister Rose
R.M. Quarels, LDA
R.M.Quarels Legal Form Help
legal document preparation service
Tel: (323) 900-9837      
Email: CourtFormHelp@gmail.com
http://legalformhelp.weebly.com


You do not need an attorney to complete and file many routine California legal documents. California law authorizes non-attorneys called "Legal Document Assistants" (LDA) to prepare forms for consumers who wish to handle their own business and legal affairs. We are not attorneys and do not provide legal advice.  We can only provide self-help services at your specific direction.

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 15 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Very Needed Discussion on Including Muslims who are Disabled into the Community

Very Needed Discussion on Including Muslims who are Disabled into the Community
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKOYnTpUxWA

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 15 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Thursday, August 25, 2016

How Do You Treat Your Child who has a Disability?

Do you have a child with a disability? What does our religion say about the treatment of those with disabilities or special needs?
Here is a very important article on this subject:

https://theislamicworkplace.com/2007/06/14/caring-for-people-with-special-needs-in-islam/

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Raising children in Islam - Mufti Menk (Dammam Lecture)

Raising children in Islam - Mufti Menk (Dammam Lecture)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt-jfip6XGo&spfreload=5

Marvelous video!

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

How to Discipline Your Child the Islamic Way? By: Grandma Jeddah

Have you ever wondered--How to Discipline Your Child the Islamic Way?
Here is a start in the right direction, insha'Allah:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEJEvu3ZYnc

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Monday, August 15, 2016

Older son jealous of younger son’s grades (By Grandma Jeddah)

Older son jealous of younger son’s grades

Final Excerpt From-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most
Challenging Discipline Problems
By Grandma Jeddah

I have 2 sons, 5 and 6. They both do very well in school, Alhamdulillah. However, while my 5-year-old is always at the top of his class, my 6-year-old is usually among the first 5. Now I don’t have a problem with this but my older son does. I try to re-assure him that both me and his dad are okay with his performance in school, but I don’t think he is convinced. He thinks he has to be first all the time like his brother. The school makes it worse because the top students in class are recognized by the entire school with special gifts. This weekend, the school plans to take the top students on a field trip. My older son feels bad because he is not a part of it. I don’t know what to do. Should I stop my younger son from going on the field trip? How do I reassure my older son? Jazakillahkhairan.

It sounds like you are handling the problem with your older son in a reasonable way by accepting his abilities even though they may be less than his brother’s. The problem you are experiencing from your older son presents an opportunity for you to implant important life skills. We will all, at some time or another, encounter situations in which we feel inferior to others. It’s important for us to remember what makes one superior to another is his obedience to Allah.

Let both your sons know that it’s important that we strive to be the best that we can in our endeavors. Achieving accomplishments in this world is something that can help us feel good about ourselves. Accomplishments can also give us the desire to struggle harder and strive further. These are all good things. For centuries Muslims were known for being leaders and trendsetters in virtually all areas of learning, including science, math and social spheres.  We want to encourage our children to excel, be productive, and do their very best. But we also want to make clear that none of these factors is what makes them superior human beings. There are plenty of people who are intelligent but lack morals. What makes us superior is taqwa--our fear and obedience to Allah.

When you teach your sons the concept that superiority is in obedience to Allah, it helps them minimize the superficial aspects of this world. It helps them put their deficiency into its proper perspective. This is not to say that your son will immediately develop positive feelings about himself regarding the academic issue. But it’s a teaching mechanism for life time skills . . . for when he grows up, insha’Allah.

There are some practical things that you can do now while he is young to help him feel better about himself. One thing you can do is contact your 6-year-old son’s teacher or principal to find out if they have other activities besides academics in class that students are recognized for. If they don’t, you can suggest to them ideas such as recognition for attendance, sports, character, etc. This gives students who may not excel in academics the opportunity to be recognized for other qualities.

Another thing you can do is develop incentive programs for your sons at home. Some ideas might be for the following:

Ø  Going to bed on time for a week
Ø  Finishing chores for a week
Ø  Remembering to brush teeth in the morning before getting dressed, for a week
Ø  Completing homework before bed time, for a week
Ø  Reciting Quran every day for a week

You can present your own certificates and awards to your sons for completing these tasks. Or, you can reward them in other ways by taking them shopping for an inexpensive toy, spending extra time with them, taking them to the park to play, cooking a special meal, visiting amusement parks, etc.
For incentives and rewards, you might be interested in my e-book Good Muslim Certificates. Inside you will find 34 colorful, printable incentive certificates, many specifically Islamic based. http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-without-DisrespectingGood-Muslim-Certificates-e-book-128.htm

If they both achieve success with the home incentives, that’s not a problem. What I mean is that you don’t have to focus on finding something that your 6-year-old excels in that your 5-year-old doesn’t.  In fact, if you can find ways in which they can work together to achieve awards, that’s a positive thing, as well. This will take the focus off of competition and place it on cooperation, insha’Allah.

In addition to the above ideas, you can also do what the Prophet (saw) told us to do when we see someone who has more than us. Remind your son to look at the one below him. Mention to him some of the areas in which he excels others, including his brother (you don’t want to mention specifically that he is better than his brother, however.) This will help him to realize his own blessings, insha’Allah.

Keep in mind that your 6-year-old may continue to express his displeasure at not being at the top of his class like his younger brother. Some problems aren’t resolved overnight. Look at it more as a lifelong coping skill you are trying to instill in your son—how to be patient with jealous feelings, or feelings of inadequacy.

Regarding allowing your younger son to go to the outing, you should certainly allow him to go. He earned it, and he should be able to enjoy the success of his accomplishments.

Remember to regularly make dua asking Allah to guide you to the best solutions for managing your sons in this situation and others. 


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Young son won’t be still in salat (By Grandma Jeddah)

Young son won’t be still in salat

Excerpt from-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most
Challenging Discipline Problems

My husband takes my 5-year-old to the masjid with him sometimes for salat. My husband says that he always moves around and won’t be still in line. We want him to take salat seriously. How should we handle his restlessness during salat?
May Allah reward you for wanting to raise your son up to be conscientious of his prayers. I wouldn’t worry much about his moving around a lot in prayer. The Prophet (saw) said to have them begin praying at 7 years old, according to hadith.  He hasn’t matured to that level yet. Right now, he is simply being exposed to it, and that’s good. Let him enjoy making the prayer rather than making it something that he has to seriously adhere to.  This will help retain his desire to continue to go.  The Prophet (saw) was extremely lenient with his grandsons: There is a hadith in which the Prophet (saw) allowed his grandsons to climb on his back during salat while he was in sujud. (Bukhari)

Many children like to imitate their parents, so when your son sees you and your husband praying, he will likely develop a desire to begin imitating both of you, insha’Allah. Children take in and retain a lot of information through example during this time period. At this stage, he is learning mostly through example. Your sincere concern for prayer will likely transfer over to him, insha’Allah.





Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html.