Saturday, October 28, 2017

Save on e-Books Today! 20% off all Discipline e-books

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Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Adopting Orphans: A Noble Endeavor By Grandma Jeddah (part 3)

Adopting Orphans: A Noble Endeavor
By

Grandma Jeddah
(part 3)

These stipulations presented in Islam are truly from Allah the Most High—The Knower of the inner recesses of the heart . . . Allah who created everything and who knows everything.

Man’s inferior laws are in no way comparable to Allah’s perfect wisdom. It is now becoming more and more apparent to those working in the professional spheres of child welfare that preventing adopted children from knowing their true origin can be counterproductive for the child. Of late, there has been an influx of adopted children seeking information surrounding their birth parents and the particulars of their adoption.

Adopted children who have been informed they were adopted have a natural tendency to want to know more about their birth parents. This desire to know more does not in any manner or fashion minimize the love these children have for their adoptive parents. It is merely a tendency that naturally exists within the person. This innate desire to identify one’s biological origins is known to Allah, who created each individual. And truly, He knows the nature of His creation.


Numerous stories abound of children who were not informed of their adoption early on and later became aware of it felt betrayed by their adoptive parents and completely confused about their identity. Islam ensures adopted children are informed of their adoption.  This is truly a mercy from Allah, The Most High. It helps to alleviate some of the problems that may be inherent in adoption.

(to be continued, insha'Allah)



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of parenting articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/



Saturday, October 21, 2017

Adopting Orphans: A Noble Endeavor By Grandma Jeddah (part 2)

Adopting Orphans: A Noble Endeavor
By

Grandma Jeddah
(part 2)

Allah also says in Quran, “Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness.” (Quran 94: 9)
He commands us to: “Worship none but Allah (Alone) and be dutiful and good to parents, and to kindred, and to orphans . . .”
These verses from Quran present clear evidence that orphans should be treated honorably and respectably.

Adoption, in both Islam and the West, involves raising and maintaining a child which is not the caregiver’s offspring. However, Islam provides additional stipulations, unlike the West, that provide added protection for the adopted child. One requirement of adoption in Islam is that the child should be made aware that the adoptive parents are not his biological parents. Another is that the orphan retains the name of his parent(s).
Allah says in Quran about adopted children: “. . . Nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but a saying with your mouths. But Allah says the truth and he guides to the right way.”  (Quran33:4)

“ .  . . Call them by the names of their fathers, that is more just in the sight of Allah, but if you do not know their father’s names, (then they are) your brothers in faith, or your wards. But there is no blame on you if you make a mistake there in: What counts is the intention of your hearts. (Quran 33:5)


(to be continued, insha'Allah)



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/



Friday, October 13, 2017

6 Top Tips for Homeschool Success By: Grandma Jeddah

6 Top Tips for Homeschool Success
By: Grandma Jeddah

 “What have I gotten myself into?!” If you’re a homeschooling parent and find yourself pondering this question—a bit more often than not— here are 6 splendid ideas on how to help make homeschooling your kids more productive, Insha’Allah.

1. Establish respectful discipline methods. Determine how to handle misbehavior and incomplete class work and homework assignments. Many teachers eagerly confide that often the greatest difficulty with teaching is managing behavior rather than teaching the material itself.
Knowing effective ways of managing your child’s misbehavior can help simplify the teaching process significantly. If you can get your child to cease talking, sit in his seat and follow along with your instructions, you will have accomplished a major part of your teaching job. There are loads of ways to respectfully encourage your child to comply with your directives. One remarkable way is delaying an exciting and desirable activity until the end of the class period or end of the day.
Let’s say you’re having science class and part of the lesson is to collect an assortment of leaves from outside. Children generally enjoy participating in outdoor activities. Remind your child that if he stays seated throughout the lesson and follows along in class, the two of you will be able to complete class a few minutes early and go outside to gather the leaves. Perchance he periodically still needs reminding, let him know, casually, that whenever you have to stop the lesson to correct him, this takes away from the extra time you two might have. This discipline technique not only encourages appropriate conduct, it also teaches your child to self-manage his own behavior. You accomplish two goals in one!
It is reported the Prophet (saw) said: Allah did not send me to be harsh or cause harm, but he sent me to teach and make things easy. (Muslim)

2. Avoid reinventing the wheel. If you’re a novice and a bit nervous about taking on the admirable job of homeschooling your child, take the easy route when starting out. Although, some parents prefer designing their own learning materials for teaching, this may not be the best solution for you. There is an abundance of educational materials you can purchase for teaching most areas of study.
Educational materials including student texts and teacher’s editions ranging from arithmetic to science can be purchased online from academic textbook companies. There are publishers that specialize in educational materials for kindergarten through 12th grade. The fantastic thing about these companies is that you can purchase the student edition as well as the teacher’s edition. The teacher’s edition, of course, provides answers for your ease in teaching. But they also provide you with an assortment of lesson plans, teaching techniques, and extracurricular activities you can use when teaching your children. This can be invaluable when trying to manage on your own.
Alhamdulillah, you can even find Islamic learning materials for a variety of subjects. Susan Douglass has a book collection for grades Kindergarten through six. The set provides a great selection of Islamic based stories that include reading comprehension questions and lesson correlated activities. The titles can be found under Islamic School Book. Another fine educational selection is the Emaan Reading Series by Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips. This compilation of 58 paperback books provides wonderfully colorful and entertaining stories for children 6 through 9-years of age. The excellent aspect of these readers is that the vocabulary is specifically designed to be age appropriate.
If you’re still a little queasy about starting your homeschooling journey, here’s an even simpler way than searching out and purchasing your own materials-- join a homeschooling program online or in your area. You will get the moral support you need, and some programs even provide you with free materials! How about that for ease?
 If The Prophet (saw) had a choice between 2 halal things, he'd pick the easier one. (Bukhari)

3. Don’t over schedule. In an effort to provide your child with an optimum educational experience you might be inclined to bite off more than you can chew. Keep in mind that even public schools rotate certain classes periodically as opposed to scheduling them daily.  Avoid attempting to schedule every subject into a single day. You will likely run yourself ragged—if you’re even able to accomplish this feat in the first place. Your primary lessons should be reading, writing and arithmetic—those age-old subjects.

Here’s a tip for history lessons and the sciences if you find little time to teach these subjects: check out books on these subjects from the juvenile section of the library for your child to read for pleasure, homework or extra credit. These books are often easy-reading and more entertaining than school texts, and your child will still be exposed to the material.

4. Realize you can’t do it all. Homeschooling is a fulltime job . . . so is maintaining a home. Realize that the kitchen may not remain sparkling clean, clothes might pile up, and dinner may not be ready on time—or at all. On occasion, try opting for meals that are less time consuming but still healthy: Yogurt fruit salad; oatmeal, fruit and nuts; sandwiches and smoothies. Be sure to discuss with your spouse ahead of time your concerns—and his--about your time management issues while homeschooling.

One option you might consider is having the kids help out more around the house. Explain to them that you need extra help now that you are homeschooling. Create a schedule of chores you need help with and designate certain children to be responsible for them. Some parents are uncomfortable with the quality of housework their children perform. They feel it’s easier to do it themselves or not have it done at all. And that’s fine, too. Everyone has their own comfort level.

5. Appreciate your assets. Often times homeschooling parents consider their own abilities inferior to teachers in standard schools. Try minimizing these comparisons. There are many factors that make a great teacher. And there are just as many factors that contribute to children learning better. One important point educators tend to agree on is that children learn best when they feel secure and accepted. What better environment than one’s own home can these two attributes be felt?
This is not to say you should not continue educating yourself in ways of improving your teaching abilities. We should always seek to become the best we can. Browse the internet for helpful teaching techniques you can use with your child. Improve certain academic skills, if need be. Contact home school organizations to gain personal assistance in your job as a homeschooling parent. Attempting to improve your abilities will help you feel more secure in your role as a homeschooling mom.

6. Welcome the opportunity. Last, but not least, realize that homeschooling your child provides you with great leverage in fashioning his thinking and perspective of the world. You can address class lessons from an Islamic perspective. You are free to teach your child that Allah (SWA) is completely in control of everything in the world—the movement of the stars, the setting of the sun, the orbiting of the moon. You can openly explain to your child the harms and ills of today’s society. You can protect your child from feeling inferior to those who deride him for not conforming to their way. In essence, you have the opportunity to, insha’Allah, raise your child up as a slave of Allah.
O! You who believe, save yourself and your families from Hell-fire, whose fuel are humans and stones. (At-Tahrim 66: 6)

Helpful Resources:
The Muslim Family Guide to Successful Homeschooling by Jamila Alqarnain: https://www.facebook.com/muslimhomeschooling
Little Deen Explorers Islamic Homeschooling http://www.magcloud.com/user/islamichomeschooling


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/




Saturday, October 7, 2017

New Newsletter for our Muslim Youth (By: Grandma Jeddah)

Congratulations, you are among the first to view our new bi-monthly newsletter for our Muslim youth, "Habibi News". The focus of our newsletter is to encourage our youth to feel proud and grateful to be Muslims. Our youth’s definition of themselves must come from us, their elders who love them, care about them, and expect them to become our future leaders, insha’Allah.

If you would like a personal PDF copy or would like several copies delivered to your home, school, or business, please send us an email and we will gladly send you what you need, insha'Allah for free. Please note, mail delivered newsletters are in black and white, not color as shown here. It would be our pleasure to email you a color copy PDF for you to make copies from, insha'Allah. Jazakalakhair.

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Daughter Jealous of new baby (By: Grandma Jeddah)

2.  Daughter Jealous of new baby


I feel like I am at a low point right now with my daughter and need to learn how to handle her better. She is 2 ½ and I just had another baby girl who is 2 weeks old. I understand how it must feel to go from being the baby in the family to having a new baby in the house who mama is holding and nursing all the time.  Even though I give her so much attention, she has been acting out and hitting me, scratching and pulling my hair. Alhamdulillah she only has love towards the baby and only loves and hugs and kisses her, but all her anger is taken out on me. I have used distraction tactics when I had her only, but with a new baby at your breast, I don’t know how to handle her when she attacks me physically, and I find myself being harsh with her (never hitting though) and then I am consumed with guilt afterwards.  Any words of wisdom you have will be greatly appreciated.

May Allah reward you for seeking out positive ways of managing your daughter’s behavior. Alhamdulillah, it sounds like you are doing a great job at trying to alleviate your daughter’s jealousy by giving her as much attention as you can. May Allah reward you for being kind and understanding of her feelings.

One thing you might try the next time your daughter pulls your hair or scratches you is look her in the eyes and in a kind, soft voice explain to her  something like the following: “Honey, when you pull mommy’s hair it hurts. Please don’t do that. You are my friend. I love you. I don’t want you to hurt me. I want us to have fun together. It makes me sad when you hurt me.”  When you tell your daughter that she’s hurting you, you are appealing to her emotional side; children her age have a strong desire to please their mother.  You are also giving her an understanding of the effect of her actions. She may not realize the impact that the expression of her emotions has upon you. She’s merely venting her frustrations.

When you tell her that she is your friend and you love her, again, you are appealing to her emotional side. You are also reminding her that you love her, which is something she continually needs to be reassured of.

After explaining to your daughter that she’s hurting you and you love her and such, monitor her response. If she lets go and shows remorse, tell her thank you. Then hug and kiss her and try to continue giving her some form of positive attention by talking to her or finding some way to engage her. If she doesn’t let go or stop being aggressive, kindly let her know that you have to leave the room when she’s mean to you because it hurts, and you’ll be back after she has calmed down. Then leave the room. If she follows you, let her. If she avoids hitting or scratching you in the room that you move to, begin talking to her and giving her attention. For instance, ask her to select a book for you to read to her while you are nursing. If she continues hurting you, go to a room where you can lock the door until you have finished nursing the baby.

Also, find tasks that she can do related to the baby. When she does the task, praise her for it. For instance, have her get the baby’s diaper for you. When she brings it, tell her how happy she makes you when she helps you out. Tell her what a big girl she is. You can also ask her to hold the baby’s hand while you breast feed the baby. This can occupy her attention and keep her hands busy so they won’t hurt you. Having her get involved with the baby while you’re nursing can also help her feel more important around the baby rather than feeling left out because of the baby.
Another thing you can do is teach and explain to her emotion words.  You can find more information on this subject, Insha’Allah, in Grandma Jeddah’s e-book Discipline without Disrespecting. When she’s pulling your hair or scratching you, tell her something like the following: “Amira, you must be ‘sad.’  When people are sad sometimes they do things that hurt people. When you scratch me it hurts me.  When you’re sad, instead of scratching Mommy, ask Mommy to hold you or rock you or read you a book.”

 Also teach her the word jealous.  Explain to her that jealous is the way she feels when Mommy is spending time with someone else like the baby, instead of her.  Let her know that you understand how bad she feels when she’s feeling jealous. Tell her that whenever she feels jealous she can say to you. “Mommy I’m feeling jealous, please hug me.” When your daughter can start verbalizing how she feels, she’ll have less need to show you how she feels through misbehavior.

Try complimenting her often and letting her know how happy you are that she’s your daughter. When you notice her not pulling your hair or scratching you when you’re nursing, be sure to let her know how happy you are that she’s not doing these things.

Jealousy and sadness are feelings that your daughter is likely to experience on occasions throughout her life, Insha’Allah. You have an opportunity to teach her proper ways of expressing her uncomfortable and hurtful feelings in a way that is pleasing to Allah. Using some of the distractions and redirecting methods suggested above should be helpful for you in this process, insha’Allah.

Finally, may Allah continue to reward you for your patience, and continue to bless you to have patience when dealing with your daughter. This is a phase that will pass, Insha’Allah, in due time. The fact that she is very affectionate toward the baby is an indication of how well you have done already in trying to prepare your daughter for her uncomfortable feelings of jealousy and sadness. By continuing to be patient with her and showing her affection, you are instilling in her that you still love her. Once she feels secure with your love and feels you understand her pain, you should see a decline in her aggressive behavior, Insha’Allah. 


This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah's e-book 67 Discipline Pearls for Your Most Challenging Discipline Problems. Order your copy today at www.grandmajeddah.com 




Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/


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